I was born in 1986. For those of you keeping score at home, that means I will be turning 30 this year. (This June, in fact.) And I have to admit, I’m having just a bit of an identity crisis. I reflect on my hobbies and interests, and I realize I don’t really partake in any of them anymore. If I strip away all the things right now that I’m doing in support of others, it looks like there’s nothing left that is simply Me. I gotta say… I’m not taking it well.
It’s not like I’m Mother Theresa or anything, but I consider myself a relatively selfless person. I have a husband, kids, friends, and relatives that can all count on me for support when and where they need it. I volunteer regularly now that I have stopped working a day job to stay home with my children. Unfortunately, I have lost myself in the process of supporting others. I suppose I need to find satisfaction in offering that support, but I crave achievement, and this isn’t cutting it.
Before you decide that I’m an asshole for not feeling satisfied with keeping 2 kids alive day in and day out, hear me out. I do not consider doing what a responsible adult is supposed to do an “achievement”. I’m not impressed if you tell me you fed your child 3 meals today. That’s part of your job as a parent. I also don’t believe in taking credit for something someone else has done. I support my husband, but when he gets promoted, that’s his accomplishment. I’m immensely proud of him for it; and I hope that somewhere along the way I did give him what he needed to get there; but that was him, not me.
So I need something else to fulfill my craving for achievement. I’ve decided to make time for the things I love again; and hopefully find myself along the way. I’m keeping track of my “adventures” on this blog because I can’t be the only one, can I? Is anyone else a housewife and pretty sure you suck at it? Maybe you’re unhappy, and you’ve counted your blessings over and over and can’t figure out why. If so, you could just be lost like I am. Let’s find ourselves!